Redefining Normal

Normal is defined as conforming to a standard; who sets this standard is entirely variable and subject for another debate. Normal refers to a ‘usual’, ‘typical’, or ‘expected’ state or condition. Often, parents raising children who develop uniquely contend with and internalise a deep untruth that their child is not normal. They hold on to that word, likely recalling the very moment they heard it. When ‘normal’ is intended for use as a rigid definition, unnecessary pressure and stigma for both the child and parents follows.

Shift the paradigm

What if we talked about a child having individual unique needs instead of not being normal? Instead of striving for conformity to a perceived norm, parents should shift their focus towards understanding and addressing the individual needs of their child to foster optimal development and wellbeing. These needs are going to be very unique and they demand skilled hands, a willing heart and a fundamental belief in the potential of every human being to learn, and grow and change. Parents need to develop safe and trusting partnerships with others who choose to see their child as an individual not as a comparative peer. Dr Daniel Amen, a psychiatrist and founder of the Amen Clinics, which specialise in brain health and neuropsychiatry advocates for a personalised approach to mental health assessment and treatment, emphasising the importance of understanding individual brain differences and promoting brain-healthy lifestyles. Work like his has fuelled the trend of a new term of reference for our uniqueness as human beings: ‘neurodivergence’. It is a pity that this descriptor is widely used to generalise an umbrella for ‘disorders’ rather than a liberation of individuality.

Diversity is Desirable

Human beings are inherently diverse. Each one of us has a spectrum of physical, cognitive, and emotional traits. Diversity is not only natural but also enriching, contributing to the richness of human experience. It is hotly pursued in successful organisations who understand that many minds are better than one if they are to remain cutting edge in their business sector. The world of work is developing a nuanced understanding of collective human potential that embraces diversity, promotes inclusivity, and recognises the importance of individual variation in shaping human experiences, identities, products and services. Sadly, the education sector, inclusive of parents with children in the system, is not translating the corporate requirement to classrooms, or even staff complements. By acknowledging and celebrating diversity, school communities can create a more inclusive and supportive environment for their children, ready for the world waiting for them.

Personalised Learning Promotes Thriving

Every child has unique strengths, challenges, and interests that shape their learning and development. Recognising and accommodating these individual differences is crucial for supporting their holistic growth. One-size-fits-all expectations are redundant in the 21st Century. Parents and educators must adopt a personalised approach that tailors support and resources to meet their child’s specific needs. This may involve adjusting educational strategies and curricula, extending the depth of content as the child initiates learning, seeking specialised services, or offering learning environments that nurture each child’s passions and talents.

Destigmatising Differences

The notion of “not normal” perpetuates stigma and undermines self-esteem, leading to feelings of inadequacy and exclusion in the child, but also in the parent of that child. By reframing differences as individual needs, parents can foster a more positive and accepting mindset within their families and communities. This shift in perspective promotes empathy, reduces stigma, and cultivates a culture of inclusivity where everyone feels valued and respected.

Empowering Resilience and Self-Acceptance

When children feel understood and supported for who they are, they are more likely to develop confidence, autonomy, and a sense of belonging. This foundation of self-worth and constructive self-awareness enables them to navigate life’s challenges with very desirable grit. Let’s not seek to ‘fix’ children against any version of normal. Rather, let’s find children for the wonderful individuals they are, teach them, train them and equip them for their world and life ahead.